His name is ivy league boy. Okay, that’s not really his name, but that’s his nickname. Sure, maybe it’s not terribly flattering or say a lot about him, other than announcing he goes to a really good college. However, let’s look at a brief history of pet names I’ve given to boyfriends in the past. 

• “Boy” for Jacky
• “Vanilla Bean” for Chris
• “BYU Boy” for Keith

So is “Ivy League Boy” really that bad? I think not. Or if it is, it’s just as bad as his predecessors. Anyway, I don’t necessarily call them that… I’ll refer to them by those names when conversing with others, but the boys probably know they’re called that. But I digress…

I met ivy league boy on okcupid (no need to make fun of me, I already feel foolish enough about it). But despite being on a dating site (then again I was too) he actually looked pretty cool, and intelligent, and attractive. So what the hell, I thought. We’ve been talking for about a week now and he hasn’t said anything to make me think otherwise of him. He’s moving to Utah in June and then we’ll meet up for real. I’m just hoping we get along as well in person as we do via text message but we’ll see.

Edit: Wait a second, I realized that I did call Jacky “Boy” to his face… nonetheless, my point still stands.

• smile
• wink
• use cheesy pick up lines
• gently stroke cheek
• slowly lift rag drenched in chloroform and cover mouth/nose
• drag to car